i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
