College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Green mimosas i think yes
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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