fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
