id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize