I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
