girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
