i permit you to call me
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
