i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
