He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
you didnt know i had herpes?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
