who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
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