Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
