I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
