Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
