She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
