Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
