what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize