I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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