I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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