I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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