U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize
