Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
