yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
