why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
