hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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