I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
