4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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