I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
