are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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