My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
that may or may not have been my penis.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
