Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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