this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
