I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
