belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
