Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
