i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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