his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
