no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
