Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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