i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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