Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
