i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He passed out mid-signature
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
