well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
