the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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