Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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