the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize