he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize