You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
