Sry I called you an 8
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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