found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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