This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
