sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
