Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
