just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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