they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
