yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
