Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
