70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
