I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
