"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
