WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
