epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Randomize