I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
